Poison

The necessary evils of our lives make the unnecessary extremely evident. I am not one to compare love to poison, but merely to bring light into those mixtures of love that create a poison inside our veins. My veins are like tiny little hollow steel tubes; strong, but take just as many hits. If there was no pain, the emotional workings of the heart would be insignificant. Any constant state of something begins to fade into meaningless, so we need variations, degrees. When you find that there's something(someone) in your life that is unbearable, ridiculously pointless, and exhausting, both physically and emotionally, you try to rid yourself of it (them). At the beginning, it's sweet sometimes. You take it down slow and it goes down smoo0th, long enough to blind you and the rest follows, the agony and the frustration. It's not always a thoroughly simple process. But it is ALWAYS worth the little stings. I've been both sides. I have been the poison before. I'm sure atleast one person who is reading this knows that. But I have also been the poisoned. It's liberating, really - learning more, lessening your chances of being poisoned again, seeing the signs. Wanting to be better and stronger is an effect. But it is only something we can consult within ourselves. As we all know, life is short, but also has the ability to be longer than we'd like it to be. Being able to know the difference between what is truely "to live and let live" and what is to truly stall your possibilities by filling your life with something that fails you. Sometimes we talk ourselves into "being alive" and the lie works for a while, but like all OTHER lies, it cannot stand to go by unnoticed for long; lies are selfish and deceptive, go figure, right? Lies are the posion that CAN kill. I don't want to die that way. So I acquire an honest peace and accept the loss of time, some amount of self dignity, and continue to stand tall. There are countless things in life that are worth while: music, words, the sky, the ocean, traveling, being in love, and falling out of love with self-respect, but never self-righteous pride without reason. Any turns that my life musters up the courage to face, are leading me somewhere that is still uncertain, barely making itself comfortable under my skin, finding the damaged parts, thinking up a way to fix them, and discovering all those little wonderful parts that make it feel...right at home. Thank you.